Trends I'm (Almost) Violently Opposed To...

A Public Service Announcement to Keep These Clothes Off the Streets--And Your Body

I was just online shopping and the horrors of some current trends have taken their toll on me emotionally and psychologically yet again. There are certain things that are happening on the fashion scene right now that I am just not for. While this is by no means an exhaustive list, I need to get this off my chest because in sharing my emotional pain with others, I feel that mine is somehow lessened. Also, anything I can do or say, however small, to mitigate the pandemic of these atrocities is well worth the effort it might cost me.

Harem Pants

  Why would you ever want to wear a pair of pants that didn't coincide with your anatomical crotch? Bad idea, bad idea, BAD IDEA.

Sheer Clothing

I think what bothers me the most about this trend is how straightforward it isn't. Why not just walk around in your unmentionables straight-up instead of obscuring them with such obstrusive fabrics as tulle and chiffon? Let it ALL hang out! Leave nothing to the imagination. Or better yet, why don't we all just walk around naked instead?
No, no, NO. Why has it become acceptable to look like a lady of the evening-- in the day time? No; sorry, no-- pass on the stripper "chic". For the love of Mike, PASS.

Overalls

You would be hard-pressed to find a garment as versatile as the denim overall. Yes, from the farm to the urban jungle; from day to evening; from mucking out horse stalls to vamping it up on the streets of NYC...
There are many, MANY alternatives to the overalls. Don't go there. Please. I beg of you. On my knees.

Jumpsuits

Kind of in the same vein as the overalls when it comes to versatility, but with a few added bonuses. For day; for evening; for running around town; for when you feel like resembling a mechanic; for when you just want to take an extra seven minutes going to the bathroom-- the jumpsuit has got you covered. Literally. Head to toe. DON'T. DO. IT.

I know that if we, individually, stand up for what we believe in-- flattering, classy clothes that cover our undergarments, show that our body parts are where they are supposed to be, and cut down on the time we spend in the bathroom-- we can stop this problem before it spreads any further. With your help, these clothes can be off our streets and, more importantly, off our bodies.