I Would Get the Death Penalty For Sure

As a writer, there are very few things that don't spark my imagination. If I happen to hear something on a t.v. show or in a movie or in a class I'm taking or just in the course of normal conversation that gets my gears turning, I'll make a note of it on my phone and make plans to delve a little deeper later when I have internet access.

As a result, my computer's internet search history ranges from the innocuous to the alarming.

If I were ever suspected of murder a la The Fugitive (because of course it would be nothing more than a very convincing frame-up, probably masterminded by a pharmaceutical company and someone I had previously thought to be my friend) and my computer's search records were subpoenaed as evidence, I would get the death penalty for sure. Which is ironic because one of the offending searches is about which drugs go into a lethal injection.

I've also done a reasonable amount of research on living off the grid, guns and ammunition, body-snatching, and Leon Trotsky. Also, Doris Day. If the Unabomber hadn't already been apprehended, just based on my internet searches, I would be a primary suspect, I'm almost positive. Never mind that the first Unabomber attack happened a couple of decades before I was even born. Never mind that the authorities should be looking for a one-armed man.

I would be on death row.

Which would be a shame because then the world would be deprived of the genius of my debut novel, a work of historical fiction which revolves around body-snatching Communists who employ Doris Day to give lethal injections to all who oppose their lifestyle of living off the grid and exhibition shooting. And body-snatching.