Idiosyncrasies

I love Aldi. For those who don't know, Aldi is a grocery store with crazy low prices. One of the ways they keep the prices down is that you have to put a quarter into a mechanism on the shopping carts to take them out of line. When you're done shopping, you put the cart back in line, chain it to the others by the mechanism, and reclaim your quarter. It works; there are never ever empty unattended carts in the Aldi parking lot.

I have a whole theory about this that I'm currently working on. Either, it restores my faith in humanity because we only need a very small incentive to do the right thing; or, it reinforces my negative perception of the human race because we will do anything to get back what belongs to us, even if what belongs to us is only worth 25 cents.

I'm an observer of humankind, you see. A student of humanity if you will. You would think I would understand them better after having been raised by them and living among them for so long. I find idiosyncrasies and quirks fascinating. So, for your reading pleasure, I have compiled a list of 13 things about me. Why 13? Because it's my blog and I can do whatever I feel like, that's why.

1. I would be crazy easy to stalk should someone feel inclined. This thought struck me yesterday morning as I was sitting in the same building I always sit in on Tuesday mornings, doing the same thing that I always do. I am a creature of habit. I do things a certain way, usually at a certain time, and therefore am highly stalkable. If the hypothetical stalker didn't die of boredom, anyways; highly probable.

2. I have an unnatural affinity for fake cheese. Not Velveeta, but Ritz bits and Cheetos. Can you imagine the pitch meeting for Cheetos? "Picture, if you will, packing peanuts, sprayed with cheese. But wait, wait! I haven't told you the best part: it's not real cheese. That's right, they're sprayed with cheese-like product." Then the makers would just pause and let that mind-bomb take effect. Obviously it was unanimously approved and we can now enjoy the product in a party sized bag of deliciousness; puffy or squookally variety.

3. I hate Remember the Titans. And all inspirational sports movies, if we're being real with each other; and I know we are. Except for The Blind Side. That biz is poignant. Michael never had a bed before Sandra Bullock gave him one!

4. I secretly want a pot-bellied pig. With the acreage we have, by our city's statutes, we could have two pot-bellied pigs.

5. I hate white chocolate. Unless it's on or in something I think is delicious, like strawberries or cookies. In that case, the deliciousness overpowers and cancels out the nasty.

6. I don't really like to talk but I have a lot to say. I'm really much more reserved by nature, but I'm really opinionated. I usually avoid speaking my mind on little things, like my dislike of white chocolate (which, by the way, shouldn't even be called chocolate; it's nothing more than a chocolate derivative. If you wouldn't feed derivatives to your dog, you probably shouldn't eat them yourself) because I don't want to offend or alienate people. This blog is an exception because, well, you can stop reading any time you want and be offended in private. We'll see how that goes when I'm old, cantankerous, and don't care about other people's feelings any more.

7. I put great stock in Briggs-Myers Tests. They're ridiculously accurate and, therefore, great for personal awareness. They pick up on little quirks in your personality that nobody else would know about; it's scary. If you've never taken one, I highly recommend it. Less than one percent of the population has my personality type. Find the one I took at the link above.

8. I'm a hard money kind of person. If I could feasibly carry around a brick of gold and pay my expenses that way, I'd be all over it. I can't think of a single country that's still on the gold standard, which is tragic. We need the gold and silver standard if we want a stable economy. That's not news to anyone with even a rudimentary knowledge of economics (like me). I just read an interesting article about it here.

9. I am a chronic procrastinator. Give me six weeks to do something and I will show you an all-nighter the day before it's due. This past week I had a Halloween party to go to on Wednesday night. I started working on the costumes that Monday. And we all looked fantastic. Maybe if it didn't work out for me once, I'd stop. I've been that way ever since elementary school, though. Everyone in my family, really, suffers from the same affliction; except my Mom. So, as my Dad says, at least I come by it honestly.

10. I feel like a have some sort of circadian rhythm disorder. Like a blind person. Sometimes, I wake up really early in the morning and am totally awake and ready to get up and start the day. Other days, I can sleep in until noon and still not be ready to get up. Certain nights I can't fall asleep at all, but then I'm fine in the morning. Clearly, my body is very confused.

11. I like knowing. Whether it's how to do something or how something works, I just like knowing. I like to know how to make things from scratch; I like knowing how to jump a car battery; I like knowing how to sew, knit, and crochet; I like knowing how football works. I'm naturally independent and I like to be self-reliant and self-sufficient; like a pioneer. If I had my pot-bellied pig and my brick of gold, I'd be really self-sufficient; like a pioneer.

12. I wish, with every fiber of my being, that I was ambidextrous. Enough said. It would just be undeniably rad.

13. I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. Let the children's laughter remind  us how we used to be.