Last Night

I had a hard time falling asleep last night. First of all, I got the '90's revival of my favorite vampire soap opera from the '60's in the mail yesterday (I just don't think we're on the level in our relationship where I can tell you what it is; it's kind of a guilty pleasure that I'm currently still ashamed of); so of course I had to watch it. I'm a compulsive online shopper, you see. Just one episode, I told myself as I climbed the stairs to the loft at 10:00 last night. 

Bad idea. 

I thought each episode was only 25 minutes or so, like the original show. Or at least that there would be an obvious break and theme song between each one. Oh no-- eventually I heard the eleven o'clock news going strong downstairs and I still hadn't seen a clear ending/beginning sequence. I finally just forced myself to pause it and headed downstairs to sleep, for I had to come into work this morning. According to the collectable cover, there is 660 hours of footage in the collection, and 12 episodes. A little simple math reveals that that means each episode is 55 minutes. I still don't know where the first episode ended and, apparently, I went about halfway into the next one. 

I regret nothing.

Then I just couldn't fall asleep. It was like when you're really excited about something that's happening the next day and you want it to hurry up and be tomorrow already. Except nothing fantastic is happening today (aside from me watching more supernatural drama tonight when I get home). I was just really, really happy--inexplicably-- and my mind kept racing at approximately 200 mph from subject to subject to subject. This happens sometimes, though I've also had it the other way-- where I am in a panic and dreading tomorrow; so you can just slow down now, Time.

I thought of some really great new aspects of the book I've been working on since I was a junior in high school. 

Of course, I thought, as soon as I wake up I won't remember any of this brilliance. Remember the last time you had a particularly clever book idea and you couldn't think of what it was the next morning? I do! I still can't remember what it was. So I must write it all down. Rats, I have nothing to write on. I could use my phone to write myself a note. But then I would be blinded by its radiant glow, which in the blackness of the night rivals the intensity of a thousand white hot suns. My retinas will be burned and then I'll have to wait for the skin to grow back on my eyeballs.Then I for sure won't be able to fall asleep, which is really what needs to happen. What to do...

At length I decided to go for it. I turned down the brightness of my phone (which was still almost too much to handle) and typed away until I was satisfied I had captured all my thoughts on the subject. It was about 1:30 when I finished and there's a time stamp on that note on my phone to prove it. 

So, that's what it's like to have a chemical imbalance.